Don't Get A Pedicure Before Going To The Bahamas

   It’s clear to me now, that I should NOT ever get a pedicure prior to a trip to the Bahamas.  My ‘Monsooner or Later’ is posing a problem, but I’m sure that ‘I’m Not Really a Waitress’ or ‘Cha-Ching Cherry’ would be equally dangerous.    It’s those damn curly tailed lizards.  They are apparently friendly and non-aggressive, but I have found that not to be completely accurate.  They like small pieces of yellow cheese.  They like pieces of fruit. They like to socialize. They like my toes. Obviously, the dumb reptiles have really poor eyesight and think my pretty tomato-colored toes are…tomatoes. Cherry tomatoes.  Or maybe watermelon.  Or mango or something. In any case, they're not so cute to me, and I'm about to enter combat mode....    They attack me…those irritating beasts.....and regardless of whether I’m sitting on a chair, at the dining table or standing at the edge of the deck, the bloody crawly things will unfailingly nip at my pedi.  It doesn’t really hurt, per say, but it sure can scare the senses out of you when you get a tug on the toe before you’ve even had your first cup of coffee…or third rum and ice cubes….  It's dangerous actually, and i almost had to take a trip to the clinic (open on Tuesdays from 10 -1:30) from a mishap with a chair that got in the way during one of my escapes. And I can't just move my feet, because they follow my movement, and being that they are 'social' and 'playful' they think I'm engaging in some fun ritual that excites them even more. I move to the left, they move to the left. I move my feet in, they move in. It’s frankly just rude.   The kids think it’s a riot, so I’m glad I can be some form of entertainment and not just the boring ol’ disciplinarian,  but it’s pretty bad when your daughter asks you to put your feet down so that she can lure the lizards in and play with them…..That in itself may deserve a privilege loss, eh?     It’s gotten to the point now, that I have the kids survey the area first before I venture outside, and then, I sit with my feet in an elevated position, regardless of where I am.  Am I supposed to endure this abuse? Will I be forced to always be reclined, with my feet up for the entire trip? (I know, sounds like what most people would WANT to do). Or, (gasp), do I have to remove my polish?   So, the things are endangered, I’m told, but I’m about to push them over the line to extinction in a moment.  And can you blame me?  If finding nail polish remover in this town is anything like finding water, I’m screwed….