At first, the
little elevated area in the center of our mattress was cute, but in the past
few years, the bump has turned into a rather large protuberance, becoming its
own structure akin to a towering mountain range or imposing peak. The Rockies.
The Alps. Aconcagua.
The depressions
on either side of the massif were at first rather reliable and friendly…kind
of comfortable due to the fact that they were depressions of the two of us. Almost
perfect indentations, precisely matching the contour of our bodies, getting
into bed every night was a pleasantly familiar experience. I was, to all
appearances, always in the groove…. That is until the docile dimples turned
into defiant dugouts, and started demanding that I perform what felt like
Herculean feats each time I needed a new perspective or position. It’s no
wonder I kept dreaming about war….trenches….drowning….
That range of
stuffing was so daunting, that I rarely ventured over to my husband’s side
(would it be worth the risk of falling?), he rarely ventured over to my
territory (what if he couldn’t get back over?), and so we didn’t communicate
much about our situation. Frankly, I really had no idea if he was going through
the same hollow experience that I was.
“Hey
you…..Heeelllloooooo over there…..CAN YOU HEAR ME? Are you in a rut over there?”
I questioned one night. “Are we in ruts?!”
“Where are you?”
he asked while shuffling pillows, blankets and sheets around before awkwardly pulling
himself up to peek over now familiar wall.
“Rut? No, it’s
more like a huge depression…a chasm. “I feel like we’re hitting bottom”. We
need to do something here. A new mattress….. I’m feeling a huge rift….or
ridge….between us. “
“Ya” I said.
“This is more than just a bump, and I’m sinking over here.”
Finding a bed of
roses was not an easy task. The entire mattress analysis, in fact, was a very strange
and disturbing procedure. I felt rather withdrawn and anxious lying fully clothed
with my husband in the middle of a store lit with buzzing fluorescent bulbs.
And why was the abnormally tanned and over-coifed mattress man continuously commenting
on our alignment? Could we just have a few moments of privacy to sort this out
on our own? “Bud out, you creepy voyeur”,
I thought. “It’s not how we look, but
it’s how we feel that’s important. Let us figure this out”. I wondered how
I could possibly make a decision based on a few minutes of just going through
the motions in this peculiar situation.
We tentatively
hopped from one bed to another and nothing seemed right. The firm ones,
although supportive, had no forgiveness whatsoever. The softer ones, although lenient,
would just leave us floundering in excessive material with no constitution to
back us up.
When would we find the one?
And how could be sure that it wouldn’t fail too? How could we guarantee a flawless
and peaceful sleep for many years to come? When would I stop feeling so
confused?
Finally,
we picked the middle of the road, firm-yet-yielding mattress, begging, to
the point of embarrassment, for it to be delivered immediately. (Hey, there are only so many restless nights a person
can tolerate, and to be honest, I was weary, worn out and just wanting to put
it all to bed). I must say, I felt pretty confident with our compromise.
Three weeks have
passed since we settled on what we would settle on.…and even though we continue
to debate the decision, we now realize that nothing will be absolutely perfect. Still, we wonder whether it is soft enough, too uncompromising, or apt to get us into ruts again. Is this merely another case of mattress
miscalculations and bed boo-boos? For god's sake, I’m hoping that at some point, I can stop overanalyzing
the situation and be content with my pick, sleeping comfortably with a sense of
peaceful compliance. After all, I make the bed, so may as well sleep in it,
right?
Regardless, this
entire mattress mania has made it apparent that although you need a solid and
comfortable foundation, there’s more to sharing a bed than just kicking back,
lying down, and staying on your own side. It’s not necessarily the mattress
that makes the difference, but it’s how you sleep on it that determines if you
can rest assured. Do you curl up, keep to yourself and teeter off your own
edge? Do you sprawl out and dominate in inconsiderate ways? Are you willing
to sometimes lay in the middle so that ruts on either side are avoided and obstructions
between you seldom occur?
And because of
the recent wake up call, we’ve now both gladly equipped ourselves with tools that can
help tend to the buildup that will undoubtedly surface between us from time to
time. We hope to be able to address the impediment early on and navigate
safely and adeptly - on either side - without loosing too much sleep.
I’m exhausted,
but hope to lie in the arms of Morpheus tonight.
