The Road To Hell.....

     Ahh. I love the ‘new year’ feeling. There is something inherently forgiving about beginning a new year, and even more lenient about the start of a new decade. It’s a dedicated fresh start, an acceptable excuse for the past 10 years of foolish actions and valuable experiences (ahem..mistakes). It’s acknowledgement that we are indeed moving forward (?) and a reminder that time goes by quickly without respect for your personal intentions or meager aspirations. It is a new start for some, an excuse for a few, and a kick in the pants for others. For me it’s a combination….and that’s all I’m going to say…..

     Looking back at the 2000’s, I was struck by the lack of words I could come up with that could label the decade. “Tragic”, “Odd” and “Pathetic” were the best I could do. Heck, I don't even know what to call it...the past 10 years.  The Aughties? The Two Thousands? The Oh-Oh's?  Personally, I had some fine moments, but as a group, I think we might just want to let the past stay in the past. I suppose it didn’t help that we all entered the decade feeling duped from the seamless transition through the ultra hyped Y2K scare. Sheesh. What a disappointment. I was kind of looking forward to candlelight and gardens…..and watching as New Yorkers scrambled to regain balance with nature… And Y2.01K seems to be glitch free so far too….darn it. Guess our next big apocalyptic excitement can center around 2012. Maybe I should invest in my 2012 countdown calendar now….

     Politically we were pathetically unconscious with 8 years of Bush, fashion was dominated by sloppy, grungy and shapeless clothing, and music news was jam-packed with ridiculous stories about ridiculous people like Brittney Spears and American Idol contestants. There was 9/11, Tsunami’s, Hurricanes, SARS and Swine Flu. Really rotten reality TV rocketed, people became dependent on ‘communicating’ in fragments with twitter, facebook and texting, climate change became a divisive reality, and the economy really tanked.

     Any good happen? Well other than the obvious - Obama, Dexter and blogging, all which made their mark towards the end of the failed decade, I’d have to say that the long down coat coming back into style is a definite plus. That always helps when you’re pinching pennies in an arctic-esque climate….and then there’s winter too….

     And resolutions? Don’t you love those? It’s empowering to think that we can make a grand statement and personal prediction once a year and have people actually believe it. “I will….” “By next year….” “My goal….” And it almost seems plausible because hell, you have an entire year to get the job done. Really, there’s not much pressure on the day you declare, and no room for someone to tell you that you’re full of malarkey, or there’s no way to get that done. Heck, there are 365 days remaining to achieve that lofty goal…and on leap years, 366… There’s room for several attempts, new strategies, and even experimentation with the dignified project....the ugly realization of its complexity probably not surfacing until the end of April. In reality, a once-a-year announcement basically allots yourself breathing room….a sabbatical for a few months before anyone calls you on your ridiculous attempt to save the world or make yourself a better person.

     It’s really quite a brilliant way to give yourself a break….if you happen to have the bad habit of setting goals and yearly intentions.   Why do people have the need for self-imposed pressures and demands? The set up for failure and disappointment, self-doubt and insecurity? Why do it? Aren’t there enough external challenges? Isn’t just living every day trying to eat well, stay healthy and be kind enough? My god, just reading labels at the grocery store and deciphering the USDA’s deceptive methods are pressure enough for me. Will I ever be able to find non-GMO corn? Does ‘farm raised’ mean ‘factory farm’ raised or farmer-John raised? Can I trust the USDA for labeling something Organic when they are irresponsible with the safety of other foods and are lying in bed with Tyson, Smithfield and other irresponsible food (?) companies? Can I trust the government at all when I can be sued for even naming those disgusting companies and encouraging others to question, complain and even boycott our unhealthy and broken food system? (By the way, if I get sued, I’ll never stop talking) ......And did I mention I have a 12 AND 13 year old? Need I say more?

     Clearly, I don’t make resolutions. You know….in one year and out the other…. I don’t make resolutions for the reasons stated above, but also because I try to modify my life and bad behavior all year long. One statement in January just won’t cut it for me. I’m too much of a mess with too many issues and frankly, just declaring that I will not lose my temper or be too critical a mere handful of days per year is big for me. Maybe I should make a qualified resolution. A pledge with perimeters. This year-long commitment thing is both too daunting on one hand and then not significant enough if I really examined myself, on the other. So I just don’t do it. I don’t resolve to solve anything nor do I pretend to think that I can. Why put the pressure on myself right off the bat? I already have enough things in the hopper and god knows I have to leave room for the ‘expected unexpected’. Sure, there are things I’d like to do and accomplishments I’d be pleased with, but to actually say them out loud, just makes me a little sweaty…..because the last thing I need is to be visited by more ghosts of resolutions past, and left over failed commitments. Hell, I can’t even promise I’ll go grocery shopping, that the mail will be picked up every week or that we won’t run out of toilet paper!

     But hey – it’s all about the adventure, not the destination anyway.  Right kids?