If The Shoe Fits

         Why is it so difficult to buy a pair of shoes?

          I would say my feet are relatively normal, for a 5’11” woman. I consistently take a 10 ½ ……but a 10 if the shoes are made in Brazil…..and an 11 if they are made in China. They are not extra wide, nor ultra skinny and a normal width usually fits me just fine…unless they are made wide like Dansko’s or narrow like Lucchese’s….

          Why can’t there be some consistency in shoe land? Anyone and everyone seemingly designs shoes these days, and all of them have their own sizing style and formula. Apparently, shoe people can’t seem to agree on one standard blueprint for shoes. Wouldn’t it be reasonable to expect a 10B to fit like all other 10B’s? Of course the shape of the shoe would change the fit slightly, but the basic template should be the same. No?

          There is obviously no shoe supervision.

          Trying to fit my son for a simple pair of running shoes proved to be a complicated and time-consuming experience. I had ordered the shoes, since running around town from place to place is the most inefficient way to look for shoes, especially when your trying to fit it in between guitar lessons and hockey practice. The box arrived, and as only a few familiar pairs were ordered, I figured the decision could be made before dinner…..a shoe-in for the Salomon’s…. and my son would finally have un-mashed toes. He’s not that hard to shop for being that he is pretty laid back and not at all that picky, and his feet are pretty normal for a large and wide flat-footed 12 year old. You would never have guessed that however, had you been listening to our discussion….

ME:       “No, Honey… you need to undo the laces to get it on. Yes, flip the back up…you’re smashing it down. Use your hands to help. Is all the stuffing out?”

SON:       “My sock is all bunched up. I can’t get it unwrinkled. Now it’s bunched at the heel. Check it out! Hey I think this sock is bigger than the other one!”

ME:        “Does the shoe fit?”

SON:       “I don’t know. Does it? My toe would be at the end, but the front goes in a bit, so my toe gets smushed to the side…and doesn’t touch. Is it supposed to get smushed to the side?”

ME:       “Well, how does it feel? Comfortable? Stand on it. You’re going to be walking in them, not lying on the floor….”

        Son takes off running full speed down the hall to ‘test’ them out.

SON:       “Um…my heel kind of slips….but the other one’s color is weird. Do you think it’s weird?”

ME:        “Forget about the color…..it’s a cool orange, dude! Try on the smaller ones. What size are they?”

SON:      “Um…this one says it’s a 9, but a it also says 41 1/3 in European sizes and 7 ½ UK. That doesn’t seem right. My other shoes were an 8 US, but 41 European. Should I try on the 8 ½ or 40 2/3? The color is better.”

ME:         “What? Ya. I already told you to try them on. You can’t tell just by looking at them. Sheesh! Try on one of each then you can compare. Is one foot bigger than the other?”

SON:       “I don’t think so. Do you have one foot bigger? That’s weird, Mom.”

ME:         “Just get over here and let me feel for your big toe. Stand on your foot though, I can’t tell anything when you’re foot is up in the air and you’re lying upside down on your back!”

SON:        “I’m wiggling my toes….can you feel them? No! That’s not the end…that’s my middle toe! Mom, press harder! Geez. Feel it? Ow!”

ME:         “They both feel about the same to me. Which one feels better to you?”

SON:       “The 9 is good with a big sock, but in the 8 ½ my heel doesn’t slip. Let me get my old shoes that are too small and compare that way.”

            He gets his dirty broken down sneakers that are missing laces and have holes in the sides.

         

           “They are so comfortable, but my toe is at the end. It says they are an 8 ½! No way! They are so much smaller than the other 8 ½. Do you think they changed their sizing? Wow! It says they are a 25.5 in Japan. If I were in Japan, what size would I be? 26? Why are there so many different ways to size a shoe? Have you ever been to Japan? And imagine if I were in England….my foot would only be a 7! But here I’m a 9…but my hiking boots are a 10. And why can’t these new ones feel as good as my old ones?”

        Mom sighs, pulls at her hair, looks at her watch and takes a sip (gulp) of wine…..

MOM:       “We have to make a decision. Which shoes? Any shoes?”

        Son takes off running down the hall again. Twice. Then throws the ball for the dog…..and plays soccer with the stuffing from the shoes.
                  
                  “For god sake. Make a decision….or put them back in the box! Come over here. Let me see them again.”

SON:        “Guess the smaller ones are better, because I felt like tripping a bit with the big ones. Or I could put an insole in them….or wear two socks… Nah. Guess the smaller ones. But aren’t they a strange color, Mom? What color is that? ”

MOM:       “Color is fine. It’s not about color, and it’s burnt orange. Are you sure of the fit?”

SON:          “Guess so. But DO NOT throw out my old ones ‘till these get broken in.”

MOM:        “You’re not keeping those disgusting shoes that don’t even fit. You’ll get hammer toes and bunions and then this process will be even more tedious!”

SON:           “Yes! I’m keeping them! I love them! Besides, I still wear them….they’re not that small, and they are so much more comfy! I’ll save the other ones just in case. Thanks for the shoes, Mom. You’re the best.”

        I’m a haggard madwoman, that’s what I am….